Hi! I’m running late on this week’s advice column, so here’s an excerpt from my most recent zine, Dyke Personality Quiz. The zine is exactly what it sounds like: a quiz that determines what kind of lesbian in STEM you are. I wrote it in a rush. My dog needed surgery and I needed money to pay for the surgery, so I wasn’t able to revise it a million times or sit with it for very long. I didn’t revisit it until a week ago or so when one my followers tagged me in a picture of this very page, which is just a list of lesbian attributes. It’s very funny, I think.
Anyways. Queer advice is coming SOON, plus a conversation with artist and dyke visionary Grace Rother. Grace and I talked about so many things: chore wheels, small apartments, butch elders of Michigan and Wisconsin. I’m really excited for you all to read it. In the meantime, I highly recommend Grace’s quilting, knitting, and sewing newsletter! Read and subscribe, subscribe, subscribe :)
xo,
Maddy
Which of these lesbian stereotypes do you most identify with? Each answer is worth a point, multiple answers are permitted.
- moving in together way too soon
- seeing other people as a chill alternative to breaking up
- reading Zappos reviews for fun
- if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong
- trying to explain complicated regional dyke drama with unclear origins from several years ago and failing
- more than 3 bumper stickers
- reposting meaningless infographics about mental health
- dating someone who lives 1194 miles away
- saying you don’t know someone just because they’re a lesbian and then knowing them anyways
- driving a manual Subaru
- being best friends with your ex-girlfriend
- sex that doesn’t end
- trying to make a relationship work even though one of you is monogamous and one of you is not
- carrying an enormous water bottle at all times
- posting nonstop about your relationship
- owning a feelings wheel and a chore wheel
- cutting all your pants into cut-offs on the first nice day of spring
- following a Queer Exchange Facebook group for the drama
- giving way too many chances to natural deodorant
- 24/7 yearning
- being a writer
- working at a miserable non-profit and totally burning out
- taking one book-binding class and giving your friends homemade journals for the rest of your life
- sending a novel-length text message at 9:02AM that was composed in the Notes app the night before
- carabiner culture
- announcing a social media break even though you never post anything
- calling out a landlord on Google reviews
- San Junipero-inspired Halloween costume
- making yourself the captain of log management at a bonfire
- knowing all the safety protocols
- a first queer relationship that reaches unsustainable levels of messy, but somehow just keeps going and going
- Facetiming with a cat
- deferring your student loans to go back to school and take on more student loans
- driving around for 5 hours just to relax
Well damn