Real Housewives of Henrietta Hudson 💃

I'm at the all-wife healing session, I'm at the mushroom bowl restaurant

I’m lagging behind in my Real Housewives of New York and Jenna Lyons chronicles. I plead CRUSHING ANXIETY, but I am here now. I feel present and ready to recap. Last episode was called “The Case of the Missing Phone“ and it was the yelliest, most backstabbiest episode of this season. Highlights include:

• Ubah snatching Erin’s sunglasses in retaliation for Erin hiding her phone, refusing to give the glasses back for 45 minutes (the time that Erin held her phone hostage), and making fun of them for being from Canal Street a.k.a designer knock-offs.

• When Jessel reveals to Brynn and Ubah that she has a running iPhone note detailing all of Erin’s crimes, and delivers this monologue: “I don’t get fucking angry, I get pissed. I’ve been playing nice in the sand pit. There have been things that have been building up that I have said nothing about. I let it go, but now it’s time: I have a fucking checklist that I’ve been keeping in my fucking phone about this bitch, OK?”

• In a teary confessional, Erin revealed that she was bullied in high school for having a long jaw. A boy used to call her LONG JAW SILVER. This is such a specific insult and Erin has no sense of humor about it.

  

  exhausting