The L Word Gen Q: S3, Episode 3
Finley feeding the rats at Dana's and not restocking the toilet paper
This episode is deranged. I laughed, I gasped, I rolled my eyes. At moments I was screeching like a damn macaw. When it was over, my adrenals were fully fatigued and I could not be revived until my girlfriend pressed a cold Diet Coke into my sweaty palm.
First things first: Gigi is not dead. She’s fully conscious and chilling in the back of an ambulance. Wait, is she really okay? A truck drove into the driver’s side door. It’s so shady of Gen Q to play us like this—I really thought she was dead or seriously injured. Nat is there and the energy between them is horny. She leans over Gigi just as the ambulance lurches— they kiss a little and then they fully make out. During a pause in the kissing, Dani climbs aboard because the ambulance is just sitting by the side of the road and not moving. If I was an EMT or first responder, I would not invite regular people to the site of a car accident. They’re just going to freak out and get in the way. Where would they even park? These are the things Gen Q forces me to think about and I am resentful.
Only one of Gigi’s long-haired paramours can ride with her to the hospital. Nat says that it should be Dani, not her, and awkwardly walks away. Dani kisses Gigi’s forehead, but it’s kind of cold and distant. I couldn’t help but think about Dani’s car. Is it just pulled over on the side of a busy street? Will she have to double back for it?
It’s the 100th episode of the Al(i)ce show and they’re recreating The Dating Game, starring Alice herself as the bachelorette and Margaret Cho as the host. Everyone has descended upon the studio to celebrate or work on the show, except Micah and Mirabel (no one cares about them) and Bette and Tina (they live in Toronto now). Angie isn’t there either— it’s the first day of her creative writing class. It turns out that her professor is the guy she kissed at Marcus Allenwood’s art show. Since Angie is preternaturally mature, she immediately addresses the problem but her professor is like, “whatever“ and walks out of the classroom. If these two have sex so help me goddess, I will vomit into a pair of Blundstones.
Backstage, Alice meets a bashful barista named Taylor (Joey Lauren Adams!! from Chasing Amy, a movie that lesbians LOVE) and they do some flirty banter. Unfortunately Taylor is really starstruck by Alice, and can’t clock Alice’s extremely flirty overtures. Conveniently, one of the contestants gets too drunk and has to be booted from the show. Sophie convinces Taylor to go on-stage and compete last minute.
Over at Dana’s Grill and Chill, Finley is looking over a college application. She can’t bring herself to hit turn it in. Shane swaggers into the Dana’s back room and offers her a sledgehammer. It’s demo day at the new bar!! They go next door and start smashing down a brand new piece of drywall in the middle of the room. They dance around to “Pony“ with the sledgehammers and hard hats. It’s giving Chip Gaines and Magic Mike, but it’s also unhinged. At one point, Finley just pulls up her shirt and shows us her abs.
Tess walks in and she’s pissed. Demolition wasn’t supposed to be until tomorrow. Finley tries to defuse Tess’s anger and in the process, smashes a pipe. Water sprays everywhere. Instead of shutting off the water main, Shane and Finley throw themselves on the leak and try to stop it with their hands. Tess is stressed about the new bar, and she really snaps at Shane. You can practically see Shane deciding to fingerbang Kehlani as soon as possible. In the past, Shane has used sex as a defense mechanism, so it’s strange to see her cheat out of anger. It’s also the most boring thing this character could do. Like what weird closet are you gonna have vertical sex in this time, Shane-o?
Tess is about to leave the house and head to Al0ce when she finds her mother all lucid and dancing to a Carly Simon song. She actually recognizes Tess. It’s a cute moment. Next, Tess realizes that she double-booked herself and is going to miss a meeting with a sponsee. Finley volunteers to meet with them instead. My knowledge of AA is entirely from pop culture and my extra-spicy friend who calls it a cult, so I’m not sure what’s going on or if it’s bad idea for Finley to take over. Gen Q relies so heavily on AA without ever explaining the culture or how it works.
Tess’s mystery sponsee turns out to be Carrie, who says she experienced a relapse and “tsunami of depression” after Bette and Tina got back together. I hate that there’s one fat character on this show and she’s a total mess who’s letting Bette ruin her life. Fat dykes deserve more, so do fat butches!! Honestly my favorite demographic. Once again, I must question the timeline. Carrie’s unhinged feelings about Bette started a year ago, but the night of Marcus Allenwood’s retrospective and Bette declaring her commitment to Tina was 5 days ago. It’s possible Carrie found out about the reunification of Bettina and relapsed in the past week, but it’s extra sad that she’s had an entire year to move on and she’s still referring to Tina as her fiancé. Girl, get over it.
Anyways, Carrie drank too much iced tea on the way over and has to use the bathroom, where she runs into Misty, the competent plumber who’s fixing the pipe that Finley broke. Carrie startles Misty who slams a bathroom door into her face and gives her a nosebleed. Misty puts a tampon in each of Carrie’s nostrils to obsorb the blood. It’s supposed to be funny, but I mostly felt tired watching this scene. Finley agrees to submit her college application if Carrie asks Misty out. Carrie ends up joining Misty’s bowling league. Finley congratulates Carrie for her long game, which made me smile with lesbian recognition.
Back at Aloce, Nat and Gigi are curled up on a sofa with champagne (the show is filmed before a live studio audience and instead of chairs, everyone sits on sofas). Dani is walking around with a headset. Over the radio, she’s helping someone wrangle Billie Jean King. Her event production business is really taking off! She literally works everywhere. Nat hands Dani a big bag of oranges. The seller by the side of the road was out of flowers, so she got Alice some citrus. She thinks it’s funny, but Dani is fucking pissed.
When Dani is out of earshot, Gigi tells her ex-wife that when the accident happened, Nat appeared before her. Gigi views this as a sign that they should pull a Bettina and get back together. Nat doesn’t say anything definitive, but you can tell she’s thinking about it. They end up leaving together. Before they can leave the parking lot, Dani runs out of Al(i)ce studios and starts throwing oranges at the car.
Meanwhile, Shane and Kehlani get it on in a storage closet. On her way out, Shane runs into Tess in the hallway and acts totally natural. Sophie sees both Shane and Kehlani come out of the same door, so she’s probably gonna tell Mirabel and Finley as soon as possible. She also sees Dani sitting on the floor and doing emotional eating with the oranges. I know it’s an LA thing to buy produce by the side of the road, but hear me out: what if it was cupcakes?
Sophie invites Dani to Gen Q headquarters and the episode ends with Micah, Finley, Sophie, and Dani having dinner. Aw, I love friendship.
Other Stuff That Came Up for Me:
All these characters are zany in the exact same way.
That’s not how latte art works. Also do hair products expire and get nasty? Are they like mascara or other makeup, or do they last forever?
lol at Alice in a straightjacket saying, “This reminds me of a relationship I was in once!”
Typing the parenthesis around Al(i)ce makes me so cranky. Also, I accidentally spelled Bette “Batte” and cracked myself up so hard.
Gigi only gets 5 days off and returns to work on painkillers. Dana’s doesn’t provide employee benefits. Taylor is paid in a t-shirt for her participation in the dating game. Just noticing a trend here.
Discussion question: If you got in a car accident and your head was bleeding, would you still make out with your ex-wife? Would you be in the mood for an illicit kiss?
The L Word Gen Q: S3, Episode 3
My dominant thought when watching it last night was “ What will Maddy make of the Shane Finley dance off?”
I’m so grateful that you’re recapping this mess so I don’t have to actually watch the show! thank you for your service 🫡