Ok did anyone notice that in Yoly and Mal’s confusing reunion fight, they kept rapidly cutting back and forth between shots where Yoly still had lipstick on and shots where she’d wiped it off? Like, I get it, it’s edited, but at least TRY to make it seem like it’s not totally spliced together lol. Also I fully have turned on Lexi - she’s so unreasonable and acts so morally superior!!
I would like to note, re: the cups, that in E7 Aussie lifts up one of the cups and THE PRICE STICKER IS STILL ON IT. Were the participants supposed to remove the stickers as a housekeeping chore??? Did the producers just...forget?!
When the seagulls were fighting over that garbage, I thought: There is NO possible way Maddy Court doesn’t reference this in TV Dinner. Iconic B-roll moment!!!
Spin off idea: Sharmaine, Natasha, and Alicia do a Couple’s Therapy: Queer Love show where they just dish out hot reads, skepticism, and harsh reality checks. Aussie’s brother can host.
The dads on this show: Is Vanessa’s dad just Vanessa wearing a beard?? Because their resemblance is wild. And Lexi’s dad’s face is so stern throughout any scene he’s a part of, then he opens his mouth and says something so supportive. You could not pay my dad enough money to come on the show and pretend to take it seriously.
Okay so I was hella rooting for Yoly and Xander *until* we had the group meet up and Xander was basically proposing to Yoly and they were semi-hiding from their pre-ultimatum partners. I was so incensed when Xander went back inside and Mal was like, "Do you wanna be with Yoly?" and Xander said "I don't know." XANDER YOU BASICALLY JUST PROPOSED. IF YOU WANT YOLY SAY IT WITH YOUR WHOLE CHEST. Vanessa is in no way my favorite, BUT she doesn't deserve to be your backup choice.
The lack of backbone and ownership of their choice was so unattractive to me. Like, it would be hot to help with the housework, save for the babies, treat me like a queen, rock me in the bedroom, AND stand up for how you feel about me. To me, that made Mal my choice automatically.
Maybe I am just projecting, but Vanessa 100% reads as a narcissistic sociopath to me, and Xander's not saying they're choosing Yoly right then seemed to be more of a "placate Vanessa so she doesn't get to hurt me or Yoly" move to me.
I'm really getting the vibe that production is MAKING them stay with their original partners for the full three weeks, and that they're not allowed to propose or break up until the end of the three weeks. Which is really unfortunate, because Mal's breakdown later on seems to be because she knows she isn't Yoly's "hell yes," and it probably feels gaslight-y if Yoly isn't allowed to just say what she wants before the "Decision Day".
And honestly this is just speculation and what we've seen is highly-edited, but Xander's actions are really reading too me as them trying to say or do anything to placate Vanessa until they're free to leave her. Real abusive relationship vibes that I am deeeefinitely seeing echoes of myself when I was in a controlling relationship.
That makes so much sense. I understand why the rules for the show would be no breaking up or declaring what you want until decision time (it makes for great tv) but damn, it feels so traumatizing to the participants.
Thanks for pointing out the abuse vibes. I can see what you're saying and you may be right about Vanessa and Xander's attempt to keep everyone safe until the show is over and everyone can truly separate.
I just hope the whole cast gets the emotional help they need after this experience because we can all see how taxing it is.
I agree that Vanessa is unhealthy for Xander and seems concerningly controlling (that "open phone" policy YIKES) but sadly I don't think Xander is just trying to placate her, I think they are genuinely getting sucked back into the mess.
1) During the second trial marriage with original partners and the dinner with Lexi's parents, Lexi revealed that Rae promised not to sleep with Vanessa. Someone else mentioned it, but I think it should be mentioned twice because wtf! It changes the context of Lexi's behavior considerably for me.
2) As an insight from two trans people (my girlfriend and me): Aussie just needs to transition. Yes, Aussie has some major trauma that needs resolving, but there's a thing that happens with trans people where all of your problems are magnified when you're not yet "out" (or decided, though both seem to be the case for Aussie). It's hard to show up authentically (or at all) in a relationship when you don't even know what "authentic" looks like for you gender-wise. It's kind of like, transitioning doesn't FIX your other problems, but it makes you WANT to fix them, or at least makes the fixing seem manageable. We can also both share that this is a fairly common thing in trans circles.
Re: your first point, I was so confused when that came up, because I swear I remembered Lexi saying just a few episodes ago that she and Rae basically agreed it was ok to sleep with someone on this show. So I was like which is it?? I'm not sure what happened that we're not seeing. Perhaps Rae promised this after choosing Vanessa, since Lexi was so anti-Vanessa. I want to know what actually happened. At this point, I don't necessarily put it past Lexi to do a little gaslighting re: what was or wasn't in a previous conversation.
Have only seen up to episode 5 and read this anyway because I don’t mind spoilers and your first recap is what encouraged me to/warned me about watching! Some thoughts & questions:
- Lexi is 1000000% showing her age in episodes 3-5. The thought of telling my parents anything about MY sex life let alone my EX’s, over a meal, in front of my NEW WIFE made me so stressed out! Also I liked how (they probably edited) her dad not saying or responding to anything until the very end of the meal and then sharing some confusing/generic marriage wisdom.
- if Rae doesn’t leave this show single….she is truly between a sex pest rock and an alarmingly possessive hard place and I feel so bad for her! I also love her energy and my wife and I have not stopped laughing about her first night with Vanessa when she’s clearly exhausted and regretting her choice and is like “can I please go to bed”.
- the entire conceit of this show makes no sense but I also couldn’t really understand how the trial marriages function - at one point in her first fight with Aussie, Mildred was like, I have to cook and clean before work, and Aussie was like I see my friends every night. Do they still work during this show? Do they just like go and live their non show lives except in the mornings and evenings?
- honestly props to Vanessa for being the realest and fakest one on this show, simultaneously. I deeply loved when she was getting attacked at the dinner with Lexi and Yoly was like “what are you doing [with Rae, with your life, etc?]” and Vanessa was like “Yoly, I don’t know”. Is Vanessa actually practicing radical transparency and just a deeply confused person whose honesty and confrontational style exposes that? 🧐
- I loved all of the friends so much more than the people on the show except for Vanessa’s dad although that did really explain a lot about Vanessa in a short amount of time.
- it’s kind of interesting to compare Lexi and Mail and Xander and Yoly, because I think they’re all thrilled about how deep and real their connections are with these new people, but Xander and Yoly show a much more realistic version of that. I say kind of interesting because nothing on this show is that interesting or even makes sense!
- what was the resolution with Tiff’s dog!? I can’t tell if they are still sleeping on the couch because even on their final night with Sam they started out in the bed but then also had a segment on the couch next to the dog!
Yes, yes, yes. Thank you so much for reading and following along!! What IS the function of the trial marriages?? It's not a very intuitive format for a show. Especially because, when I hear about a lesbian couples who've been together for over a year, I'm gonna assume they live together (unless it's long distance). It is our custom as a people. 21 days is such a specific amount of time but also, time doesn't matter on the show? There's no routine.
I do know that the cast members weren't paid to be on this show, so I'm sure most of them were working remotely.
Thank you so much for this. Despite not being a 'marriage' person myself, I'm officiating a queer wedding for my best friend in a month. The guys getting married got their moms involved, and everything has devolved into a quasi-catholic norm-core shitshow complete with Bible readings. One of the toxic, homophobic dads just emailed me a ring "blessing" to share that made me want to vomit. "Love is a perfect, never ending circle..." The same dad called his son the devil when he came out, and weighs his wife every morning, so like, spare me. My radical queer wedding speech is amazing and, if I use it at this point, I'm afraid I risk blowing up my friendship as my friends try to keep mommy and daddy happy (something I'll never understand). I was so relieved to read your words about this show and to remember what a joy it is to be queer in a world that wants to put everyone in a box.
Oh wow, you are a good friend for going along with this!! It's such a bummer because unlike legal marriage, a wedding actually has the potential to be meaningful and reflect the couple's relationship and values--or at the very least, a fun party for people who actually want to be there and love and accept your friends wholly.
Ugh I am retraumatizing myself watching Vanessa manipulate and torment Xander. “Say it back” and all this “I’m really ready to change this time” hearts and flowers BS. This show should be a psychology case study.
this is an interesting point! on the first (straight) season, it seemed like the producers preferred to have parents and friends were second choice options, but obv dynamics are very diff with queer people so idk
Ok there’s no way Xander and Vanessa end up together. I did a very deep dive of their socials and there’s no way!!
I was once secretly dating someone in college who had a bf and we had sex but she would not let us kiss!!!! It was wild but then Vanessa asking about mouth stuff made me feel seen in a “yeah that was confirmed wild” sense. This girl and her bf and still together 10 years later and I accidentally walked by them twice in one day while visiting NYC two years ago.
Did you get to the very end of the ep? Mal proposes with a speech and ring and all.
This host is so so so bad. Nick and Vanessa Lachey host the straight eps and they are helpful and interactive and feel more real and less scripted.
Can you explain how this show might be scripted? I don’t understand reality shows and how scripts work. On that note, Tiff and Mildred’s have that fight about her ex wife and Tiff has papers on their lap and I’m like is that script notes???
I think Yoly lives in Chicago too? Her Instagram seems very “chi for life” and for some reason I thought they lived together.
I don’t know how you recap this show because it’s entirely insensible.
Oh also, Lexi is on this show 90% to boost her OnlyFans subscribers.
re:mildred and tiff’s therapist - has anyone listened to tiff’s podcast? i sort of wonder if they’re the type of person to share the rest of the story on a podcast...
OH! also!! in a later episode, lexi said that after they picked the trial marriage partners that rae specifically promised not to sleep with vanessa. i can’t remember which episode it was in, but my partner and i were both shocked by that revelation because the editors certainly should’ve told us that sooner!
i think lexi is still being unreasonable, esp in light of the iffy consent stuff, but i do think this changed my perspective a little. i get why that broken promise feels painful to lexi.
This was first revealed to us during the fight they had about this at dinner with Lexi’s parents! I remember because I was also shocked at this being dropped so late and also the fact that it was revealed in the worst possible context!
This whole plot point feels so gross to me because it’s clear that Rae has not had the time or space to process how that interaction was impacted by Vanessa’s clearly super pushy behavior and will not ever be given that space if she stays with Lexi. Like, I agree that that promise changes the context but also it’s just sooo gross that Lexi is laser focused on making Rae defend/repent about this especially given that the reason Lexi gave for being so against Rae’s trial marriage with Vanessa in the first place was concern for Rae given Vanessa’s manipulative behavior. Like, Lexi babe, if you’re actually concerned about your partner’s wellbeing and not just your control over her lay the fuck off long enough to listen to what she’s saying and please stop saying “penetration” on camera? It’s giving major coercive control energy.
Yeah, it feels like Rae had no way to win with her interactions with Vanessa at the party. She barely spoke to her and Lexi was still furious. She's reminding me of a controlling friend I had who would intensely scrutinize my interactions with my ex (who I suspect she was into although she would never admit it) and berate me if I was too warm to him because she hated our relationship, but if I was too cold to him that was suspicious to her too because it showed I still had feelings for him. Lexi is giving Rae's actions the worst possible faith interpretation and if this is at all indicative of how their relationship has been before this show, that really sucks for Rae. I wonder how often Lexi finds someone who she considers an enemy in the same way she sees Vanessa as an enemy. Vanessa DOES suck, but Lexi is throwing herself so vigorously into turning everyone against her that if this is something she does outside the show, that's gotta be so exhausting for everyone else around her.
oh you’ve just named exactly what i was feeling but couldn’t put into words! on some level i think lexi /is/ feeling anger at vanessa for the violation but it’s all coming out against rae and that’s just so incredibly unacceptable. and like please for one moment put your ego and your careful life goals aside and see your partner for the human being that she is!!!! like journal your hurt feelings but show up for rae in this moment!! (and for the record i like lexi but ugh the whole thing is just decisively not okay)
Ok did anyone notice that in Yoly and Mal’s confusing reunion fight, they kept rapidly cutting back and forth between shots where Yoly still had lipstick on and shots where she’d wiped it off? Like, I get it, it’s edited, but at least TRY to make it seem like it’s not totally spliced together lol. Also I fully have turned on Lexi - she’s so unreasonable and acts so morally superior!!
I did not notice this, but not surprised!! So disrespectful to the metallic cups and all the work they’re doing. The cups are CARRYING this show.
I watched part of the first season of the straight one just to be like “wtf is this show” and:
A) someone I went to high school with is on it, and
B) one of the women is pregnant at the reunion ep and the hosts give her a baby continuity sippy cup
I can't believe the hosts would bring a BABY into this!!
The phrase "continuity sippy cup" just broke my brain.
Holy shit
Yes I noticed this!! The cups were let down. Probs a good reminder of the editing that goes into this as well..
I would like to note, re: the cups, that in E7 Aussie lifts up one of the cups and THE PRICE STICKER IS STILL ON IT. Were the participants supposed to remove the stickers as a housekeeping chore??? Did the producers just...forget?!
I saw that toooo and howled 😂
When the seagulls were fighting over that garbage, I thought: There is NO possible way Maddy Court doesn’t reference this in TV Dinner. Iconic B-roll moment!!!
Spin off idea: Sharmaine, Natasha, and Alicia do a Couple’s Therapy: Queer Love show where they just dish out hot reads, skepticism, and harsh reality checks. Aussie’s brother can host.
The dads on this show: Is Vanessa’s dad just Vanessa wearing a beard?? Because their resemblance is wild. And Lexi’s dad’s face is so stern throughout any scene he’s a part of, then he opens his mouth and says something so supportive. You could not pay my dad enough money to come on the show and pretend to take it seriously.
watching Vanessa try to please her critical, very libertarian-seeming, divorced IT guy dad humanized her a lot for me tbh!!
“In IT, we believe 99% right is 100% wrong” SENT ME.
I thought the same thing about the seagulls fighting over the garbage! 😂 there is some bizarre B-roll on this show
i thought it was the food they brought and that they got so focused on their disputes that the gulls took over lool
Okay so I was hella rooting for Yoly and Xander *until* we had the group meet up and Xander was basically proposing to Yoly and they were semi-hiding from their pre-ultimatum partners. I was so incensed when Xander went back inside and Mal was like, "Do you wanna be with Yoly?" and Xander said "I don't know." XANDER YOU BASICALLY JUST PROPOSED. IF YOU WANT YOLY SAY IT WITH YOUR WHOLE CHEST. Vanessa is in no way my favorite, BUT she doesn't deserve to be your backup choice.
The lack of backbone and ownership of their choice was so unattractive to me. Like, it would be hot to help with the housework, save for the babies, treat me like a queen, rock me in the bedroom, AND stand up for how you feel about me. To me, that made Mal my choice automatically.
Maybe I am just projecting, but Vanessa 100% reads as a narcissistic sociopath to me, and Xander's not saying they're choosing Yoly right then seemed to be more of a "placate Vanessa so she doesn't get to hurt me or Yoly" move to me.
I'm really getting the vibe that production is MAKING them stay with their original partners for the full three weeks, and that they're not allowed to propose or break up until the end of the three weeks. Which is really unfortunate, because Mal's breakdown later on seems to be because she knows she isn't Yoly's "hell yes," and it probably feels gaslight-y if Yoly isn't allowed to just say what she wants before the "Decision Day".
And honestly this is just speculation and what we've seen is highly-edited, but Xander's actions are really reading too me as them trying to say or do anything to placate Vanessa until they're free to leave her. Real abusive relationship vibes that I am deeeefinitely seeing echoes of myself when I was in a controlling relationship.
That makes so much sense. I understand why the rules for the show would be no breaking up or declaring what you want until decision time (it makes for great tv) but damn, it feels so traumatizing to the participants.
Thanks for pointing out the abuse vibes. I can see what you're saying and you may be right about Vanessa and Xander's attempt to keep everyone safe until the show is over and everyone can truly separate.
I just hope the whole cast gets the emotional help they need after this experience because we can all see how taxing it is.
I agree that Vanessa is unhealthy for Xander and seems concerningly controlling (that "open phone" policy YIKES) but sadly I don't think Xander is just trying to placate her, I think they are genuinely getting sucked back into the mess.
I guess we'll figure it out tomorrow 🙃
Two things:
1) During the second trial marriage with original partners and the dinner with Lexi's parents, Lexi revealed that Rae promised not to sleep with Vanessa. Someone else mentioned it, but I think it should be mentioned twice because wtf! It changes the context of Lexi's behavior considerably for me.
2) As an insight from two trans people (my girlfriend and me): Aussie just needs to transition. Yes, Aussie has some major trauma that needs resolving, but there's a thing that happens with trans people where all of your problems are magnified when you're not yet "out" (or decided, though both seem to be the case for Aussie). It's hard to show up authentically (or at all) in a relationship when you don't even know what "authentic" looks like for you gender-wise. It's kind of like, transitioning doesn't FIX your other problems, but it makes you WANT to fix them, or at least makes the fixing seem manageable. We can also both share that this is a fairly common thing in trans circles.
Re: your first point, I was so confused when that came up, because I swear I remembered Lexi saying just a few episodes ago that she and Rae basically agreed it was ok to sleep with someone on this show. So I was like which is it?? I'm not sure what happened that we're not seeing. Perhaps Rae promised this after choosing Vanessa, since Lexi was so anti-Vanessa. I want to know what actually happened. At this point, I don't necessarily put it past Lexi to do a little gaslighting re: what was or wasn't in a previous conversation.
I believe Aussie, Sam, and Sharmaine are at Baja Betty’s in San Diego 🧐 you’re right Maddy! Can confirm, it is a very gay Mexican restaurant.
I'm adding it to the list if I ever find myself in San Diego!!
Have only seen up to episode 5 and read this anyway because I don’t mind spoilers and your first recap is what encouraged me to/warned me about watching! Some thoughts & questions:
- Lexi is 1000000% showing her age in episodes 3-5. The thought of telling my parents anything about MY sex life let alone my EX’s, over a meal, in front of my NEW WIFE made me so stressed out! Also I liked how (they probably edited) her dad not saying or responding to anything until the very end of the meal and then sharing some confusing/generic marriage wisdom.
- if Rae doesn’t leave this show single….she is truly between a sex pest rock and an alarmingly possessive hard place and I feel so bad for her! I also love her energy and my wife and I have not stopped laughing about her first night with Vanessa when she’s clearly exhausted and regretting her choice and is like “can I please go to bed”.
- the entire conceit of this show makes no sense but I also couldn’t really understand how the trial marriages function - at one point in her first fight with Aussie, Mildred was like, I have to cook and clean before work, and Aussie was like I see my friends every night. Do they still work during this show? Do they just like go and live their non show lives except in the mornings and evenings?
- honestly props to Vanessa for being the realest and fakest one on this show, simultaneously. I deeply loved when she was getting attacked at the dinner with Lexi and Yoly was like “what are you doing [with Rae, with your life, etc?]” and Vanessa was like “Yoly, I don’t know”. Is Vanessa actually practicing radical transparency and just a deeply confused person whose honesty and confrontational style exposes that? 🧐
- I loved all of the friends so much more than the people on the show except for Vanessa’s dad although that did really explain a lot about Vanessa in a short amount of time.
- it’s kind of interesting to compare Lexi and Mail and Xander and Yoly, because I think they’re all thrilled about how deep and real their connections are with these new people, but Xander and Yoly show a much more realistic version of that. I say kind of interesting because nothing on this show is that interesting or even makes sense!
- what was the resolution with Tiff’s dog!? I can’t tell if they are still sleeping on the couch because even on their final night with Sam they started out in the bed but then also had a segment on the couch next to the dog!
Looking forward to/dreading the next few eps….
Yes, yes, yes. Thank you so much for reading and following along!! What IS the function of the trial marriages?? It's not a very intuitive format for a show. Especially because, when I hear about a lesbian couples who've been together for over a year, I'm gonna assume they live together (unless it's long distance). It is our custom as a people. 21 days is such a specific amount of time but also, time doesn't matter on the show? There's no routine.
I do know that the cast members weren't paid to be on this show, so I'm sure most of them were working remotely.
THEY DID THIS FOR FREE???
Thank you so much for this. Despite not being a 'marriage' person myself, I'm officiating a queer wedding for my best friend in a month. The guys getting married got their moms involved, and everything has devolved into a quasi-catholic norm-core shitshow complete with Bible readings. One of the toxic, homophobic dads just emailed me a ring "blessing" to share that made me want to vomit. "Love is a perfect, never ending circle..." The same dad called his son the devil when he came out, and weighs his wife every morning, so like, spare me. My radical queer wedding speech is amazing and, if I use it at this point, I'm afraid I risk blowing up my friendship as my friends try to keep mommy and daddy happy (something I'll never understand). I was so relieved to read your words about this show and to remember what a joy it is to be queer in a world that wants to put everyone in a box.
Oh wow, you are a good friend for going along with this!! It's such a bummer because unlike legal marriage, a wedding actually has the potential to be meaningful and reflect the couple's relationship and values--or at the very least, a fun party for people who actually want to be there and love and accept your friends wholly.
Omg, this entire wedding should be its own netflix show. Jeesuz, WEIGHS his WIFE???
Natasha = problematic fave
i want to get railed by her and her iron bun
https://twitter.com/reallyswellgal/status/1665020725659410434?s=20
Wait, what's problematic about Natasha?? She is literally the only person who seems to actually have her shit together in this entire show.
Ugh I am retraumatizing myself watching Vanessa manipulate and torment Xander. “Say it back” and all this “I’m really ready to change this time” hearts and flowers BS. This show should be a psychology case study.
My wife and I posited that Lexi invited her parents into the show because she doesn’t have any close friends (??) same for Vanessa!
this is an interesting point! on the first (straight) season, it seemed like the producers preferred to have parents and friends were second choice options, but obv dynamics are very diff with queer people so idk
Ooh good call!
Ok there’s no way Xander and Vanessa end up together. I did a very deep dive of their socials and there’s no way!!
I was once secretly dating someone in college who had a bf and we had sex but she would not let us kiss!!!! It was wild but then Vanessa asking about mouth stuff made me feel seen in a “yeah that was confirmed wild” sense. This girl and her bf and still together 10 years later and I accidentally walked by them twice in one day while visiting NYC two years ago.
Did you get to the very end of the ep? Mal proposes with a speech and ring and all.
This host is so so so bad. Nick and Vanessa Lachey host the straight eps and they are helpful and interactive and feel more real and less scripted.
Can you explain how this show might be scripted? I don’t understand reality shows and how scripts work. On that note, Tiff and Mildred’s have that fight about her ex wife and Tiff has papers on their lap and I’m like is that script notes???
I think Yoly lives in Chicago too? Her Instagram seems very “chi for life” and for some reason I thought they lived together.
I don’t know how you recap this show because it’s entirely insensible.
Oh also, Lexi is on this show 90% to boost her OnlyFans subscribers.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CRZm057LiU-/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== She calls Mal her roomie. This was in seattle but I really don’t think they live there?? Or they moved to Seattle together and then back to Chicago?
Ok I’m going too deep but check out this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CRZm057LiU-/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
A few pics in Mal has a ring on their marriage finger and it’s after the show was filmed. (I deduced it was filmed Oct 2021.) ?????
Was anyone else dying at Sam being like “why are you calling me mate?!” bc Aussie starts calling her mate when they get triggered/mad
re:mildred and tiff’s therapist - has anyone listened to tiff’s podcast? i sort of wonder if they’re the type of person to share the rest of the story on a podcast...
OH! also!! in a later episode, lexi said that after they picked the trial marriage partners that rae specifically promised not to sleep with vanessa. i can’t remember which episode it was in, but my partner and i were both shocked by that revelation because the editors certainly should’ve told us that sooner!
i think lexi is still being unreasonable, esp in light of the iffy consent stuff, but i do think this changed my perspective a little. i get why that broken promise feels painful to lexi.
This was first revealed to us during the fight they had about this at dinner with Lexi’s parents! I remember because I was also shocked at this being dropped so late and also the fact that it was revealed in the worst possible context!
This whole plot point feels so gross to me because it’s clear that Rae has not had the time or space to process how that interaction was impacted by Vanessa’s clearly super pushy behavior and will not ever be given that space if she stays with Lexi. Like, I agree that that promise changes the context but also it’s just sooo gross that Lexi is laser focused on making Rae defend/repent about this especially given that the reason Lexi gave for being so against Rae’s trial marriage with Vanessa in the first place was concern for Rae given Vanessa’s manipulative behavior. Like, Lexi babe, if you’re actually concerned about your partner’s wellbeing and not just your control over her lay the fuck off long enough to listen to what she’s saying and please stop saying “penetration” on camera? It’s giving major coercive control energy.
Yeah, it feels like Rae had no way to win with her interactions with Vanessa at the party. She barely spoke to her and Lexi was still furious. She's reminding me of a controlling friend I had who would intensely scrutinize my interactions with my ex (who I suspect she was into although she would never admit it) and berate me if I was too warm to him because she hated our relationship, but if I was too cold to him that was suspicious to her too because it showed I still had feelings for him. Lexi is giving Rae's actions the worst possible faith interpretation and if this is at all indicative of how their relationship has been before this show, that really sucks for Rae. I wonder how often Lexi finds someone who she considers an enemy in the same way she sees Vanessa as an enemy. Vanessa DOES suck, but Lexi is throwing herself so vigorously into turning everyone against her that if this is something she does outside the show, that's gotta be so exhausting for everyone else around her.
oh you’ve just named exactly what i was feeling but couldn’t put into words! on some level i think lexi /is/ feeling anger at vanessa for the violation but it’s all coming out against rae and that’s just so incredibly unacceptable. and like please for one moment put your ego and your careful life goals aside and see your partner for the human being that she is!!!! like journal your hurt feelings but show up for rae in this moment!! (and for the record i like lexi but ugh the whole thing is just decisively not okay)