This is giving "fellas, is it monogamous to expect basic human decency from your partners". You deserve to not feel like shit in your relationship. Finding this situation unbearable doesn't necessarily mean you're not poly. If you have to bully yourself into being fine with a situation, it's probably not a good situation.
These kind of things are the reason me and my wife agreed on a 'veto' option. We have never had use it (we have come close), but in our dynamic, my wife is always be the priority before other partners and if someone I am dating was making her feel like this, I wouldn't date them.
I’m no poly expert, but here to say I totally understand LW being upset about the prospect of your partner dating C again. I would be too. Idk! maybe even if you have these long capri sun discussions as maddy suggests, it might not be sustainable. and that would be really painful but IMO not an unreasonable boundary to have
Oof, this is echoing my old triad with a super toxic weird hot-and-cold partner with I S S U E S. I gritted my teeth through my partner dating her, gritted my teeth through her shitty non-communication style and getting unreasonably angry and emotional when offered support, and then after she dumped us over text I gritted my teeth through my partner wanting to stay friends with her because she was basically his best friend. Spoiler alert, she wormed her way back into our lives enough to basically screw us out of a bunch of money in a real estate / business deal gone completely awry. If your gut is telling you that you don't want this person in your life, LISTEN. Do not be me! Your partner can make other friends who don't treat their partner like shit -- your partner should be in your corner in this regard. So LW if you see this please take care of yourself
This is giving "fellas, is it monogamous to expect basic human decency from your partners". You deserve to not feel like shit in your relationship. Finding this situation unbearable doesn't necessarily mean you're not poly. If you have to bully yourself into being fine with a situation, it's probably not a good situation.
These kind of things are the reason me and my wife agreed on a 'veto' option. We have never had use it (we have come close), but in our dynamic, my wife is always be the priority before other partners and if someone I am dating was making her feel like this, I wouldn't date them.
tbh you should break up with your original partner
I’m no poly expert, but here to say I totally understand LW being upset about the prospect of your partner dating C again. I would be too. Idk! maybe even if you have these long capri sun discussions as maddy suggests, it might not be sustainable. and that would be really painful but IMO not an unreasonable boundary to have
Oof, this is echoing my old triad with a super toxic weird hot-and-cold partner with I S S U E S. I gritted my teeth through my partner dating her, gritted my teeth through her shitty non-communication style and getting unreasonably angry and emotional when offered support, and then after she dumped us over text I gritted my teeth through my partner wanting to stay friends with her because she was basically his best friend. Spoiler alert, she wormed her way back into our lives enough to basically screw us out of a bunch of money in a real estate / business deal gone completely awry. If your gut is telling you that you don't want this person in your life, LISTEN. Do not be me! Your partner can make other friends who don't treat their partner like shit -- your partner should be in your corner in this regard. So LW if you see this please take care of yourself