1. Tiff’s hair is incredible and my wife wouldn’t stop talking through every episode in speculation of their curl routine.
2. Other queer content creators have dubbed Vanessa’s screen time as an unfair “villain edit” on a person who is simply poly - but whispering “f you” across the table to your partner is just inexplicable to me. I just know this girl is exHAUSTing to be around.
3. Rae gives a bit of quiet masc energy that feels buried under her femme style and I’d love to see her reappear with a sporty short haircut and short-sleeve button up a la Tiff.
4. Mal’s style is so impeccable!
5. As a big booby Pam Anderson femme myself, I’m loving the representation from Lexi!! Use those lethal weapons!!
6. Stanning Yoly and Xander so much - you’re spot on that they feel like a legit couple, and they both deserve attentive, obsessive partners who can match their energy. These two are giving “shared lesbian couple IG account” energy and I love it for them.
I agree that Vanessa is getting a certain edit--"girl who is here for THE WRONG REASONS" is such a dating show trope, also kinda suss that she's the only cast member with an explicit sexual identity (she's pansexual) and she's an evil slut. But yeah, obviously mouthing "fuck you" to Xander and her general grabbiness is really bad. I feel like she's still coming to terms with her queerness and is seeing other queer women as like, experiments? Or she's just wildly thoughtless/acting like a straight man. I don't know!! I do think Lexi will be more of a villain in the upcoming episodes.
Wow you are truly doing the lord’s work by writing this, it is such a treat to read. This show is a dumpster fire, but seems at least a little educational (ie communication and processing that’s depicted) and more forgivable than Gen Q, which was fully scripted and more “thought out.” (although I don’t believe there was much thinking being done) I agree with all your predictions and would also like to add a weird little paradox to vanessa’s actions that I cant seem to figure out - she seems so obsessed with getting attention and being liked by others, yet says the same lines/proclamations about love to different contestants and does the whole “fuck you mouthing” like does she think no one will catch on?? I feel like if you’re so conscious of how your being perceived and want to be thought of favorably, how do you not understand and think about the fact that other people see what you do and talk about your actions? She’s totally unhinged, Jenny but w/o the backstory or complicated stereotypes and I guess I’m happy I don't understand her. Poor Xander, I can’t imagine. Again, love the synopsis, you are a brilliant angel and I appreciate you sm
Oh also I feel that vanessa pressuring and manipulating rae is totally awful and triggering, and what’s worse is that it feeds the “predatory queer” stereotype, it leaves me incredibly uncomfortable
THANK YOU!!! my partner and i watched the first season (straight) and it was fascinating and messy but nothing compares to this season. also, there was almost no sex in the first season so this one is WAY different in that respect.
re: rae/lexi/vanessa: we think lexi isn’t reacting to broad infidelity but a specific “if it had to be someone, why was it her?” anxiety around rae’s taste in partners that she worries reflects on her, too.
absolutely chaos. this is the first reality dating show i've ever watched and i feel like i'm in the deep end.
vanessa stuff feels 100% sexual harassment and non-consensual. i want rae to leave.
i don't get how all these couples actually coupled off. like, i get that they have to buy into the premise of the show, but this is their LIFE. i was expecting both rae and tiff to just no pick anyone and leave? i don't know. they really didn't give any other options but to pair off.
+1 to yoly and xander. they also have the most comfortable and non-sterile looking place which i'm sure helps.
ok maddy as a monogamous person, is sex (physical affair) or love (emotional affair) more harmful? i get that lexi is like terrified of vanessa really more than the sex, but it seems like "my gf fucked another girl" was what she was gonna snitch to her grandpa about so.... ?
mal is so fucking hot. i feel bad that there are no other Black ppl on the show that Mal could have matched with....weird and shitty producer choice imo.
i feel like the idea of giving an ultimatum in general is pretty manipulative....
This is only my second time intentionally watching a dating show--the first was the bisexual season of Are You the One, which is way higher budget than Ultimatum and has a lot more structure/rules/logic to it. When I was watching the Ultimatum, I was like, "but what are they doing for 21 days?? just sitting in their soulless hotel suites?" On Are You the One, the cast members compete and the hosts are very present (there's also a "therapist" who pops in at opportune moments lol).
re: my monogamous perspective. When my girlfriend and I talk about being in a closed relationship, one thing we always touch on is that we're happy for friendship to be our main mode of meeting new people and having relationships outside of each other. And friendships can be really intimate and deep!! tbh I was skeptical of emotional affairs until I wrote that advice column about the spouse who was talking walks with their therapist friend from a trans support group--do you remember that one? Personally, I would be way more hurt being lied to or manipulated (especially if it happened over a long period of time) than if my girlfriend simply had sex with someone else. So I guess emotional affair, but an actual affair with a secretive element, not my girlfriend just making a new friend.
And yeah, I agree with all your points! It is pretty manipulative to give an ultimatum. I feel like hesitancy is also an answer and I personally wouldn't want to pressure my partner to marry me.
That season of Are you the one is the only dating show I’ve watched all the way through, also! I think this show could use a little bit more structure, narration, or at least an explanation of the timeline. Without those things, it feels like random unfocused processing. Maybe the producers wanted things to feel natural but I want to know where they are living, are the going to work, WTF is going on.
I agree! It's very sparse and none of the convos make sense. Someone messaged me on the DL and told me that the cast members were not paid, so maybe everyone was working remotely and the show filmed on weekends and evenings lol
Agree on the pairing off weirdness. It seems like there are a few people who are super horny to do the swapping, and others who very obviously weren’t. The Aussie/Mildred and Tiff/Sam thing just felt forced to me, personally. No chemistry among any of those two pairs, but I think they’re going to be the Jiminy Cricket couples that teach us all valuable lessons about communication and boundaries.
Minor point but I WAS WONDERING about the metallic glasses too!! 😂 I’m like, why are these at the pool, in the restaurant, in their homes...? Thank you for addressing this!
Wait so just.. no one is going to mention the thing where after Rae tells Lexi about her problematic sexual encounter with Vanessa, Lexi was like "How am I going to tell my grandpa about your behavior? He LOVES you" ??? Like maybe we don't have to tell Grampy about his granddaughter's girlfriend getting fingerblasted on TV?
Thank you!!! This, plus the incredibly uncomfortable looks on Lexi's parents' faces during the dinners with them where she is just trashing Rae to them, ughhhhh, I was like, "Oh, right, you DO still have a lot of growing up to do."
Anyone else feel like Mal is in lust with Lexi and is being disingenuous about the commitment piece? Mal seems like she would say anything to get a chance to grab those titties, which I get as someone who did the same thing with an ex, but also I worry for Lexi
Def agree on tiff and Mildred staying together possibly because no one else will put up with their emotional dysfunctions. I’m also so pro Xander and Yoly but I’m also like deeply in love with Mal so I feel torn. Rae deserves better from this whole ish! She’s like we’re not even 30 why are we here??! While I believe in love for everyone I could care less what happens for Vanessa, she needs some alone time. Xander and Yoly and May triad please!
The remote work theory would make sense! And maybe some are local or local ish? Which would explain why we got to see a bunch of friends and family members?
Also omg maddy. Have you seen Lexi’s TikTok????? https://www.tiktok.com/@lexicgoldberg It is unhinged. I hate. So many lipsynching Black ppl. I’m like…….no effing way this girl leaves with Mal. She seems so so different and unstable???
A few side comments from my own TU:QL notes:
1. Tiff’s hair is incredible and my wife wouldn’t stop talking through every episode in speculation of their curl routine.
2. Other queer content creators have dubbed Vanessa’s screen time as an unfair “villain edit” on a person who is simply poly - but whispering “f you” across the table to your partner is just inexplicable to me. I just know this girl is exHAUSTing to be around.
3. Rae gives a bit of quiet masc energy that feels buried under her femme style and I’d love to see her reappear with a sporty short haircut and short-sleeve button up a la Tiff.
4. Mal’s style is so impeccable!
5. As a big booby Pam Anderson femme myself, I’m loving the representation from Lexi!! Use those lethal weapons!!
6. Stanning Yoly and Xander so much - you’re spot on that they feel like a legit couple, and they both deserve attentive, obsessive partners who can match their energy. These two are giving “shared lesbian couple IG account” energy and I love it for them.
I LOVE THIS ANALYSIS!! YES TO ALL POINTS!!
I agree that Vanessa is getting a certain edit--"girl who is here for THE WRONG REASONS" is such a dating show trope, also kinda suss that she's the only cast member with an explicit sexual identity (she's pansexual) and she's an evil slut. But yeah, obviously mouthing "fuck you" to Xander and her general grabbiness is really bad. I feel like she's still coming to terms with her queerness and is seeing other queer women as like, experiments? Or she's just wildly thoughtless/acting like a straight man. I don't know!! I do think Lexi will be more of a villain in the upcoming episodes.
Every time Lexi speaks I’m like yup, that’s a Capricorn lol everything has to be structured and understood clearly by her.
Xander and Vanessa actually had a shared couple Instagram account with a bunch of followers which they deleted before coming on the show!
Wow you are truly doing the lord’s work by writing this, it is such a treat to read. This show is a dumpster fire, but seems at least a little educational (ie communication and processing that’s depicted) and more forgivable than Gen Q, which was fully scripted and more “thought out.” (although I don’t believe there was much thinking being done) I agree with all your predictions and would also like to add a weird little paradox to vanessa’s actions that I cant seem to figure out - she seems so obsessed with getting attention and being liked by others, yet says the same lines/proclamations about love to different contestants and does the whole “fuck you mouthing” like does she think no one will catch on?? I feel like if you’re so conscious of how your being perceived and want to be thought of favorably, how do you not understand and think about the fact that other people see what you do and talk about your actions? She’s totally unhinged, Jenny but w/o the backstory or complicated stereotypes and I guess I’m happy I don't understand her. Poor Xander, I can’t imagine. Again, love the synopsis, you are a brilliant angel and I appreciate you sm
Oh also I feel that vanessa pressuring and manipulating rae is totally awful and triggering, and what’s worse is that it feeds the “predatory queer” stereotype, it leaves me incredibly uncomfortable
Thank you for all the spoilers because now I know this is worth a watch! <adds to queue>
THANK YOU!!! my partner and i watched the first season (straight) and it was fascinating and messy but nothing compares to this season. also, there was almost no sex in the first season so this one is WAY different in that respect.
re: rae/lexi/vanessa: we think lexi isn’t reacting to broad infidelity but a specific “if it had to be someone, why was it her?” anxiety around rae’s taste in partners that she worries reflects on her, too.
absolutely chaos. this is the first reality dating show i've ever watched and i feel like i'm in the deep end.
vanessa stuff feels 100% sexual harassment and non-consensual. i want rae to leave.
i don't get how all these couples actually coupled off. like, i get that they have to buy into the premise of the show, but this is their LIFE. i was expecting both rae and tiff to just no pick anyone and leave? i don't know. they really didn't give any other options but to pair off.
+1 to yoly and xander. they also have the most comfortable and non-sterile looking place which i'm sure helps.
ok maddy as a monogamous person, is sex (physical affair) or love (emotional affair) more harmful? i get that lexi is like terrified of vanessa really more than the sex, but it seems like "my gf fucked another girl" was what she was gonna snitch to her grandpa about so.... ?
mal is so fucking hot. i feel bad that there are no other Black ppl on the show that Mal could have matched with....weird and shitty producer choice imo.
i feel like the idea of giving an ultimatum in general is pretty manipulative....
ty for recapping!!!
This is only my second time intentionally watching a dating show--the first was the bisexual season of Are You the One, which is way higher budget than Ultimatum and has a lot more structure/rules/logic to it. When I was watching the Ultimatum, I was like, "but what are they doing for 21 days?? just sitting in their soulless hotel suites?" On Are You the One, the cast members compete and the hosts are very present (there's also a "therapist" who pops in at opportune moments lol).
re: my monogamous perspective. When my girlfriend and I talk about being in a closed relationship, one thing we always touch on is that we're happy for friendship to be our main mode of meeting new people and having relationships outside of each other. And friendships can be really intimate and deep!! tbh I was skeptical of emotional affairs until I wrote that advice column about the spouse who was talking walks with their therapist friend from a trans support group--do you remember that one? Personally, I would be way more hurt being lied to or manipulated (especially if it happened over a long period of time) than if my girlfriend simply had sex with someone else. So I guess emotional affair, but an actual affair with a secretive element, not my girlfriend just making a new friend.
And yeah, I agree with all your points! It is pretty manipulative to give an ultimatum. I feel like hesitancy is also an answer and I personally wouldn't want to pressure my partner to marry me.
That season of Are you the one is the only dating show I’ve watched all the way through, also! I think this show could use a little bit more structure, narration, or at least an explanation of the timeline. Without those things, it feels like random unfocused processing. Maybe the producers wanted things to feel natural but I want to know where they are living, are the going to work, WTF is going on.
I agree! It's very sparse and none of the convos make sense. Someone messaged me on the DL and told me that the cast members were not paid, so maybe everyone was working remotely and the show filmed on weekends and evenings lol
Mmmyhanks for answering. Yes, I remember that advice column. Really hard!!!
Ok good luck this week with four more eps.
Agree on the pairing off weirdness. It seems like there are a few people who are super horny to do the swapping, and others who very obviously weren’t. The Aussie/Mildred and Tiff/Sam thing just felt forced to me, personally. No chemistry among any of those two pairs, but I think they’re going to be the Jiminy Cricket couples that teach us all valuable lessons about communication and boundaries.
Minor point but I WAS WONDERING about the metallic glasses too!! 😂 I’m like, why are these at the pool, in the restaurant, in their homes...? Thank you for addressing this!
Wait so just.. no one is going to mention the thing where after Rae tells Lexi about her problematic sexual encounter with Vanessa, Lexi was like "How am I going to tell my grandpa about your behavior? He LOVES you" ??? Like maybe we don't have to tell Grampy about his granddaughter's girlfriend getting fingerblasted on TV?
Thank you!!! This, plus the incredibly uncomfortable looks on Lexi's parents' faces during the dinners with them where she is just trashing Rae to them, ughhhhh, I was like, "Oh, right, you DO still have a lot of growing up to do."
Anyone else feel like Mal is in lust with Lexi and is being disingenuous about the commitment piece? Mal seems like she would say anything to get a chance to grab those titties, which I get as someone who did the same thing with an ex, but also I worry for Lexi
Def agree on tiff and Mildred staying together possibly because no one else will put up with their emotional dysfunctions. I’m also so pro Xander and Yoly but I’m also like deeply in love with Mal so I feel torn. Rae deserves better from this whole ish! She’s like we’re not even 30 why are we here??! While I believe in love for everyone I could care less what happens for Vanessa, she needs some alone time. Xander and Yoly and May triad please!
Also technically Lexi does know Mal better than 99% of people
in the world… I’m sure she meant it that way!!!!! Jk
The remote work theory would make sense! And maybe some are local or local ish? Which would explain why we got to see a bunch of friends and family members?
And Aussie and Sam - agree I’m a couple episodes into the new ones and it still feels like a toss for how they’ll move forward.
Also omg maddy. Have you seen Lexi’s TikTok????? https://www.tiktok.com/@lexicgoldberg It is unhinged. I hate. So many lipsynching Black ppl. I’m like…….no effing way this girl leaves with Mal. She seems so so different and unstable???
Ok my gf informs me that this is what everyone does on TikTok but I still hate it.